This is funny!

Marriage (Part I )
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and
after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

'I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.



I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.



I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies, and don't you
give me a hard time about it.



Those are my rules.


Any comments?'

His new bride said:
'No, that's fine with me.


Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not.


'

(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)

************************************************

Marriage (Part II)


Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
anniversary!

The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!'

'Yeah?' she replies.


'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!'

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)


*****************************************

Marriage (Part III)


Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.




Husband gets up in a rage and says, 'And you are no
good in bed either,' and storms out of the house.




After some time he realizes he was nasty and
decides to make amends and rings her up.




She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says,
'What took you so long to answer to the phone?'

She says, 'I was in bed.


'

'In bed this early, doing what?'

'Getting a second opinion!'

(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

*****************************************

Marriage (Part IV)


A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.




He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his
wife,' Mother of Six' in spite of her objections.




One night, they go to a party.



The man decides that it IS time to go home and
wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.



He shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
shouts right back, 'Any time you're ready, Father of Four.


'

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

*****************************************

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment

Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife
to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.




Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
of paper,'Please wake me at 5:00 A M.


' He left it where he knew she would find
it.




The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.




Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he
noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.


'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.




*****************************************

God may have created man before woman, but there
is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

*banging on the desk laughing* (aka bodl)

Where do you find this stuff, dude?

it was a bulletien on myspace

LMAO

enought said

L.M.A.O.

LMAO!
This is funny!

Well of course you found this on myspace

everything is on myspace!

its so unGodly....

everything is on myspace
ive just realized that

penz just said that everything is on myspace

ik
but she made me just realize it

haha. no not everything is on myspace b/c I'm not on myspace. at the moment at least and hardly ever. people are now asking me to add them and I'm reluctant.

you're not a thing

you're a one

so yeah

everyTHING is on myspace

im glad i brought the revalation to you mace

why are you reluctant mom?

would you be reluctant to add me mom?

that sounded creepy to me...

*laughs*
well anyway laren you need to adds me
i need someone to replace dane cook
lol

Did I add everyone on here?

your my friend! YAY!

me abbey?

i'll be your friend! lol

youre alrady my friend mom

yeah marky

kk lol im forgetful

XD geez markie remember who your friends are!

how could you forget me?

im not on myspace as much anymore lol...since i joined TA ive been slacking...

well if someone on here didn't add meh
its
myspace.com/dancer_omg
my last name is Russell
and then i'll put you on my top becasue well duh, we're family!